1) if you leave your mirror adjustment switch on the right side it will disable the tilt feature. Try toggling the switch to the other side and put the car in reverse.
2) Not sure which light you are referring to but if its the inner round light next to the grill then those turn on for a few seconds when you put the car into reverse and when you have the turn signals on.
Current - 2013 N55 535xi Msport SAT
Retired - 2009 N54 335i Msport 6MT
Retired - 2000 M52TU 323i ASA Supercharged 5MT
More Photos of my car here