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That's the oil filter housing and I would guess that one car has an oil cooler while the other one doesn't. The difference you are feeling could be two things.... The adaptation from the previous owner of your wife's car is a lot more aggressive and the previous owner of your car was probably a 80yo grandpa lol.
Or
Your wife's car has a more updated engine and transmission software from BMW. BMW has come out with a lot of software updates for early production F10's and the latest is usually the greatest. I would push your dealer to update you to the latest engine/transmission software.
Alan
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