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I've owned two 911 - first a 2000 911 C4 I bought new and drive for 4 years and almost 50k miles, and a 2004 Turbo S I bought with 28k miles in 2008. The C4 was kept mostly stock but my Turbo had probably $50k in upgrades including engine changes to bring it to roughly 600whp/wtq, brakes, suspension, wheels & tires (I ran slicks in the summer on the car which was my daily driver - only possible since I lived in CO where it hardly rained), other things. I've also spent a lot of seat time in 993 and 997 cars and a bit in 991 cars. This includes a lot of track time.
I couldn't read through the whole thread so I apologize if you've said this, but what is your budget? Is this going to be a daily driver? Will it be your only car? Have you driven anything else like older 911 or Cayman/Boxster models?
To address what I was able to read thru:
The steering feel of Porsches is generally excellent, though the newer cars with electric bits don't have as much feel as older mechanical cars. Unfortunately this is true across pretty much every car maker. Our BMWs suffer from this same thing. So you'll have to accept this as reality of you get a newer versus older car. The steering feel in a 911 is also more delicate feeling due to the rear engine and resulting lack of weight over the front tires.
You mentioned considering a 993. They are VASTLY different than newer cars in so many ways. Of course there's the air cooled motor versus water cooled, but also the interior just doesn't compare. The 993 is spartan versus the 996 and newer cars that have lots of luxury features. The 993 was there last model produced in low numbers versus the 996 and newer that were produced in huge numbers, and the 993 has maintained its value for these reasons. Unless you're going to use the car as a weekend toy, forget about buying a 993.
Regarding how it drives and not being able to kick the rear end out, again the rear engine design factors in big time. The rear will grip more than any car you've ever had due to the very wide, sticky rubber with all that weight over it. I always say though that you've never really driven a 911 until you've spun it out, and I truly stick by this a million percent. To get it to kick out while controlling the car takes practice, especially at higher speeds.
You should definitely look at the Cayman/Boxster if you're looking for the best driving experience period. The 911 drives different because it's rear engine, which is an acquired taste and a key reason I bought two. You'll never drive a car that drives the same.
Last thing: The best value on the Porsche market is the 996 Turbo, especially X50 cars (same turbos, intercoolers, exhaust, and tune as the GT2). They're fairly bulletproof, not hugely expensive to modify (though expect to pay double or more than your BMW because it is a Porsche), and very fast. They're fast enough that you'll have a very, very hard time using all of their capabilities on public roads, even after you get a few thousand miles under your belt.
You really must drive the different models to know what you should buy. There's no other way to do it!
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