Your dealer is an idiot probably
iPhone4 not supports MAP Bluetooth profile, which means no any 'office' functionality availble over bluetooth (except calendar support in case you'll launch BMW connected application)
For sure, iPhone not supports office functionality over 'cable' connection as well.
Apple iOS SDK not allows to get an access to SMS / emails for security reasons, and nothing changed in this area in iOS 5, that's why only Calendar is available in the BMW connected application.