Because of the hard jerking when shifting to drive I wonder if there isn't a torque converter problem instead of software alone. Depending on mileage and warranty I would do a fluid and pan replacement and see what changes, or just complain to your dealer if under warranty.
Curious: if you go to manual mode and start from a stop in M2 what is the take off like? I have quite a bit of TC slip, sounding almost like a non-expert driving manual and slipping the clutch until about 2k. If you have a way different experience it could help point to TC lockup issues.
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